Almost Impossible Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I couldn't get away from Leah fast enough. I wasn't used to talking to her, much less her actually caring- if that's what you called that. I didn't know if she was going to try and become friends or bite my head off, but either way I just wanted out of there. I would have thought she might have enjoyed the fact that she wasn't the only girl werewolf, but I guess that all depended on who the other one was and she never did like me. Oh well.

I was happy that Jacob wasn't too far away from Leah's so it didn't take long for me to get there. I walked amazingly fast, and I didn't even fall once. I was proud of myself, but I guess I had the, uh, werewolf in me now to thank for that.


When I got there Jake was already outside with a smile on his face, watching the direction I was coming from. I couldn't help but smile back. Before all this had happened, I couldn't imagine being any happier when I saw him, but after this, it had all just intensified so much more. He went from being my own personal sun, to being my own personal.... Well, everything, I guess. It was hard to think about everything else when I knew I had him for the rest of my life; I knew he would never leave me. I don't know if that was imprinting talking, or if I was just finally coming to terms with what I had always felt, I don't really care either way.

"Hey Bells," he said when I finally reached him.

"Hey," I said walking up to give him a hug. "What's the plan for today?" I asked when I pulled away.

"Well, I guess more of the waiting I suppose. Other than that, Emily invited us over for lunch, so whatever until then I guess."

My stomach growled and he laughed. "Uh, I don't think I can wait," I said, also laughing.

"Come on, let's see what we've got here."

I followed him into the house; it was empty. Since it was the weekend I assumed Charlie and Billy were fishing again.

"Fishing?" I asked.

"Yep."

We both looked in the refrigerator, but it was pretty empty.

"Eggs?" he asked with a half smile.

"Sounds great." And my stomach growled, we both laughed again.

Jake got out the pan and the rest of the stuff needed to cook them and started at it, but I really couldn't imagine Jake cooking at all, so I pushed him aside.

"Hey!" he shouted at me.

"What?" I asked, smiling.

"I was going to cook them."

"Are you sure?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Fine," he said and stood back, handing me the spatula and I laughed again.

Once I started, I could tell he was getting hungry too. I cooked the whole carton of a dozen eggs. I hoped it was enough for him.

I put some on a plate for him, putting it on the table and got some for myself. We both sat down and within a second I was done.

"Jeez Bells." Jake laughed.

"Wow, I'm still hungry," I said, shocked.

We ended up splitting them evenly between us, but I was still hungry.

"Guess it comes with the change for you too," he said as we walked to sit down on the couch after I had cleaned up the kitchen. I laughed and he half smiled.

"What?" I asked him.

"I don't know. You really just seem to be ok with all of this. I'm half expecting you to just suddenly freak out the next time someone says something relating to it all."

"I really am ok Jake, stop worrying. I've done my freaking out already," I told him.

"Really? When?" he asked, surprised.

"Well uh... When I first started noticing the changed I guess, but also when I first phased. Ok, maybe that wasn't really freaking out, but what can I do Jake? Would you guys be happier if I freaked out?"

"No, of course not. Sometimes, I don't know why, but you keep surprising me," he said and he kissed my forehead.

"Me too." I just smiled at him.

It was a quiet for a while and it was comfortable just sitting in silence for a while, but I knew it wouldn't last. The phone started ringing and Jake got up to answer it. After a moment, I knew who it was.

"Bella, it's Charlie."

Great. I got up and walked slowly to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" he asked, oddly.

"Yeah?"

"What time are you coming home?" he asked, he sounded like he was in a hurry for me to get home.

"Well I was sort of planning to after lunch. Emily invited us over," I told him, though it was a little lie, I didn't know when I was planning to go home.

"Oh, ok." He didn't say anything else.

"Is that ok?" He was acting weird, but I wasn't sure I wanted to find out what that was.

"Sure, I guess. Well, see you then I suppose."

"Ok. Bye." And I we both hung up.

That was weird. He never really questioned me like that. If I was with Jake he always seemed ok with it. I'm sure he assumed that sometimes I would go with him to see his other friends.

I could tell from that conversation that it wasn't over and I was definitely not looking forward to it.

"You ok Bells?" Jake asked suddenly.

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine." I just shook my head and went over to give him a hug. "Should we be heading over to Sam and Emily's now? I'm sure she could use the help."

"Sure," he said, giving me a light kiss. I didn't want to let go, but I knew if I didn't, I probably wouldn't anytime soon.

As we walked out of the house, Billy was just coming home. He asked where we were off to. We explained and then left him to head off to have lunch with the pack.

We had gotten there early, so it was just Emily and I in the kitchen. When we first got there, Sam and Jake instantly went outside. I knew they were just avoiding us in case we asked for help. Not that we ever would.

Emily was making a huge ham and sliced at least three blocks of cheese for sandwiches. There were 5 bags of chips sitting on the table already, along with four cases of different soda. It was enough for a full party, but I knew that between the pack, it wouldn't last more than an hour. I guess I had to include myself in that too.

Once it was all sliced up and laid out on the table the guys, and girl, started showing up. They were all in good moods, laughing and having fun. It was a good lunch, finally getting off the topic of the weird things that have happened. Once again they were all enjoying themselves like a family.

After I helped Emily serve them all, I sat down, eating almost twice as much as I normally would. They all just kind of looked at me like they were trying not to laugh once I had finished. Glad I decided not to go back for more. I wondered if they had treated Leah like that when she first joined them, but I doubted anyone messed with her and lived to tell about it.

When lunch was over, I helped clean up the mess. Emily told me, as always, that I didn't have too, but I enjoyed it. It was at least something normal for me to do. After a while everyone had moved into the living room, talking about whatever they normally did. I didn't know exactly what I should have been doing, but I just stood in the doorway listening.

Jake noticed me and kind of put me on the spot.

"Bella, you can come sit down you know," he said gesturing to the empty spot next to him.

I didn't say anything, but I crossed my arms over my chest and went to sit next to him.

"Bella, you should learn to feel comfortable with us all. You are one of us now; there is no reason you shouldn't," Sam told me.

I just sat there staring at the wall and I nodded my head. Jake put his arm on my back and rubbed in soothingly.

"Yeah, we're not all jerks," Quil said and I couldn't help but laugh. Actually mostly all of them did.

"Thanks," I said.

It wasn't a meeting or anything, it was just time to hang out and relax. We tried watching a movie, but my nerves kicked in. I knew it was time to be going home soon and I couldn't keep it together. By the time the movie was over, I had no idea what it was even about. The only thing I could think of was ways to keep this secret away from Charlie.

Jake apparently could tell that something was wrong and told them that we were going to go- that I had to get home. Sam looked worried, but he didn't follow or say anything.

The drive back to Jake's was silent. He didn't interrupt my thoughts, but I wished he would. Instead of making myself feel better about it, I felt worse, thinking about all the bad things that could happen. I didn't honestly think I would get mad enough at Charlie to phase in front of him or attack him, but I was worried about keeping it from him.

It was easier keeping other people's secrets from him, but this one was about me and big enough change everything from being normal, no matter how hard I could try. I didn't know if I would have to take off as much as the rest of the pack did for things, but I knew I would at some point have to do some of the things they did. How would I explain that? Would I have to constantly sneak out?

"What's wrong Bells?" Jake asked suddenly. I didn't even realize we were at his house already and his rabbit was shut off.

"Nothing really," I lied. I didn't want him to know how much I was worried about it, he might try to tell me not to go, when I had to.

"Bella..."

"I'm worried about going home," I said.

He got out of the car and walked around to open my door. He grabbed my hand and gently pulled.

"Come on," he said softly.

He led me into the house and sat me down on the couch. He disappeared for a second then came back, with Billy not far behind him.

"What's wrong?" Billy asked me.

"What if I get mad? What if I can't control myself? I really can't imagine getting that mad at him, but what if something else does? I get so mad, so easily now, it's hard to say what I'll do. And how do I keep it from him? You know that I'm not good at lying, so how do I not say anything, or make up reasons to leave at random times?" I blurted out the problems, seriously hoping they could help me.

Billy sat there for a moment and seemed to be thinking it over. Jake was now sitting on the couch with his hand on my lap.

"Don't think about it Bella." Hah, like that was easy. "As you should be able to see, the more you are thinking about it, the worse it will make it. Just act normal, focus on being happy, on not letting the things that worry you happen." He stopped for a moment. "You know, there were quite a few of the pack who's parents didn't know for the longest time..." but he stopped.

The way that sounded was that Charlie won't know at first, but he'll figure it out eventually and I was almost sure he would. He is a lot smarter than I give him credit for.

"Well then... I guess I should probably get home before I change my mind," I said, standing up. One thing that I was looking forward to was a hot shower and clean clothes. That was almost enough to make me do this and I almost laughed.

The whole way home I just thought about taking a shower and changing my clothes, that was enough to get me through the drive. I once again wished my truck was faster so I could get this over with sooner.

Once I got home and was about to walk through the door, I realized I wasn't alone. I wasn't positive, but I was pretty sure Jacob was out there hidden in the trees somewhere. I took a deep breath and went inside.

Charlie didn't get up off the couch as usual, which I was a little glad for.

"Bella?" he shouted.

"Yeah, it's me."

It felt a little awkward. I wished it was night so at least then I could just do to bed, but in the afternoon, I knew that would only cause more questions.

Once I got upstairs, alone, I decided I needed to do some laundry. I gathered up all my dirty clothes, but decided I should take a shower first. I grabbed clean clothes and went to the bathroom.

The much needed shower felt great and I took my time. When I was done, I tossed the clothes I had taken off and threw them in the basket and carried it downstairs. I started tossing some into the washing machine when I heard Charlie getting up off the couch. This better hearing could come in handy.

"Bells, is everything ok?" he asked once he was behind me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told him and it wasn't a complete lie. Billy was right, once I stopped thinking I was hiding something from him, it didn't feel so bad.

"Ok." He didn't believe me, but he let it go.

Once I had the laundry started I looked around the house for other things to do. I noticed some dishes piled in the sink and started with those and slowly worked my around the whole house. When my laundry was done I carried it upstairs to fold it and put it away.

The time was passing quickly and I almost didn't notice it was about dinner time, so when I finished putting my clothes away I went downstairs too cook dinner. I didn't really realize how much I had made until Charlie came walking in wide eyed, staring at the pan.

"Jeeze Bella, are we expecting someone?" he commented.

"No. Sorry, didn't realize I made that much." But the truth was, I could probably eat it all, that's how hungry I was. I really hoped I got used to that.

I actually did it almost all of it, but I stopped myself and I was pretty full. Charlie eyed me curiously, I didn't think about it too much.

"Guess I was hungry," I said with a laugh. "Didn't really eat much over at Jake's or Leah's, except for the lunch today with Emily," I added.

He just nodded, got up and went back to the couch to finish watching the game. I was pretty thankful for sports sometimes. He was so anxious to get back to it that, many times, it stopped a conversation that I knew I couldn't deal with from happening. I smiled slightly and got up to clean up the kitchen.

Once it was a safe time to go to bed, I went up and cleaned up my room and went back down to say good night. He just said it back and that was that. I fell right to sleep.


In the morning I woke up to a dull light and the comfort of being in my own home and my own bed. I don't remember dreaming, which I guess was good. Better than the nightmares I'm known to have about things that upset me.

I got up out of bed slowly, my body still aching somehow even more than before. I decided to take another shower, just because I could, but something felt different, I just couldn't figure out what it was.

As I got out of the shower and dried off, I grabbed the clothes I had carried in, I was just pulling shirt over my head when I realized it was little tight. Hmm. It wasn't too bad so I left it on, the only thing was, it was usually kind of big on me. I grabbed my jeans and was pulling them up, but they were extra tight around my hips.

I didn't think I was gaining weight, but what else could explain my clothes suddenly being too small for me? What the hell.... Oh. Damn.

Well I had completely forgotten about that little detail. I was somehow hoping my body wouldn't change appearance wise. I just hoped Charlie wouldn't notice.

I ran downstairs to call Jake. There was no way I was going to spend the rest of the day in the house. I picked up the phone and dialed his number and it rang twice before he picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jake," I said happily.

"Hey, Bells. How was your night?" he asked.

"Pretty good actually," I said, sounding surprised as I was.

"That's good to hear. Told you you were worrying for nothing," he laughed.

"Yeah, yeah."

"So you want to come over today?" he sounded hopeful, how could he think I might not have.

"Of course."

"Ok, soon as you want," he said and I could practically hear the smile from his face in his voice.

"Ok be there in a little bit," I said and I hung up.

Sometimes it felt like this imprint thing was weirder for us than the rest had it, besides the fact it turned me into a huge wolf. We still found ourselves avoiding the talk about that part and I wasn't sure why.

Once I had hung up the phone Charlie was walking up behind me before I had turned around.

"Where you going so early?" he asked, suspicious again.

"Jake's," I replied, turning to walk back upstairs.

He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it and walked away, out the door for work. I sat on my bed for a few minutes, making sure he was really long. At the last minute, I remembered I should take some spare clothes.

I did a good job not thinking too much on the way to Jake's, it was hard, but I at least didn't think of anything negative anyways. I was tired of thinking about it, thinking about all the bad things about it all, and trying to figure out why I wasn't as upset as they all expected me to be, or why I wasn't as upset as I should have been with all the changes. Especially how it didn't really bother me to say goodbye to Edward, I just felt bad, but I knew these things happen for a reason. Maybe I would never know that reason and I think I was ok with that too.

But as I did start thinking about it all, I was actually a little angry. Angry with Edward anyways. When I think back to my first day at Forks High, I sometimes wonder if vampires can hypnotize people. I felt like I was shut off to myself, unable to make my own decisions. My world revolved around him, uncontrollably. I did love him, there was something good in him, but in the end I guess it wasn't enough. He never really thought about things and it was obviously because he wasn't human , so he didn't think like we did. I went way out my way to be with him, risked everything, and in it turned out that I wasn't as happy as I had thought I was while doing it.

I still wondered why exactly he didn't want me to become a vampire, I doubted it was just about my soul, it had to be something more. If I was willing to give that up, if that's how it really was, why couldn't he just get over it? Maybe it wasn't that at all, maybe it was because I wouldn't have been weak anymore, and he wouldn't have been able to control me the way he did. That seemed a little too crazy to be the real cause, so it must have really been over my soul, or something like that.

What I really think though is that somewhere deep down inside of me, I never really forgave him for leaving me the way he did and made me go through what I had gone through. Everything that had brought me to my Jacob and everything that led me to where I am today. And that is why I think it was so easy for me to move on the way I did.