Almost Impossible Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Once I had gotten to Jake's, he let me know there was a meeting and he was able to go this time.

"Are you really sure you are healed enough?" I asked him.

"Yep. Nothing even hurts anymore," he said with a smile and I couldn't help but smile back.

He pulled me into his arms and gave me a tight hug that a week ago would have crushed me completely, but now it just felt wonderful to have him that close. We sat down on the couch to wait for a while and my nerves went overboard again. Jake could tell and he knew what was wrong.

"Everything is ok Bells, really. It's just a normal meeting," he told me.


"I know... it's not that... I just don't know if I want to phase again," I said, quietly.

"You know, the more you phase the more control you gain over it; your body becomes more used to it and it becomes easier to do."

I felt a little better knowing that, soon I won't have to worry so much. I was still nervous though. It's not that I was scared to phase, but it was still weird to me. The feeling of the phase and then having everyone in your head was a little strange. Not to mention not looking like a human anymore. I looked forward to it feeling more normal, because right now I still felt a little like an outsider.

He glanced up at the clock. "Let's go," he said, pulling up off the couch and I followed him outside.

We walked towards the back of the garage again, but the rest of the pack wasn't there. Jake showed me how to tie my clothes around my ankle like they did. And I laughed.

"I never thought you would be showing me how to do this," I said, still laughing.

"Yeah. Me either," he laughed too.

Once I had it down he moved to the other side of the tree and I saw him take his shirt off. I knew it was my turn to do the same, so I did it quickly before he had time to try and turn around. I could tell he had thought about it. I tied it just tight enough around my ankle, then I phased.

For some reason I was shocked again when I couldn't hear them all. I was mostly confused, but realized that maybe I did really have to allow them every time. I really wondered what was wrong with my brain to cause such a thing to happen.

Jake stared at me, he looked confused. The only way I knew how to answer him was to shake my head, but as I did that I turned to face him and focused. I did the same thing I did with Sam and focused on Jacob and focused on moving that bubble around him. After about a minute, which was shorter than last time, it was clear- too clear.

I heard every thought of every wolf at the same second and it was too much. I actually jumped back and before I could blink it was quiet again. What the hell? Jake was making a weird howling noise that I could only interpret as laughing.

I made a sharp snapping bark back at him and refocused, opening my mind again. I did it slower that time, allowing the voices to come in at a low whisper and then slowly get a little louder, to actually understand them.

Wow. I thought and everyone had gotten oddly quiet. What? I asked.

What happened? I heard Jake's voice say.

What was that about?

What the hell is wrong with her?

What did she do?

I'm confused.

What did I miss?

All of their voices came in so fast, I couldn't figure out who was who. I ignored most of them and just answered Jacob.

I don't know. I just did the same thing I did with Sam yesterday. I guess I wasn't expecting to hear so many voices at once; it was so loud that, I don't know, I closed back up.

They all thought about that for a moment. I couldn't tell who had which thought, or exactly what the thoughts were since they were all at once. But then I heard, what I thought sounded like Seth laughing.

That's pretty cool. Too bad I can't do that, then I could block out Leah's annoying thoughts. It's bad enough to have to live with her!

Leah growled and everyone started to laugh, well as much as you can laugh when it's inside your head. I thought it was all beyond weird.

After a few minutes I could tell someone phased in and it was Sam.

How was last night Bella? he asked.

I didn't really need to answer with actual words, I just thought about it and he could see the pictures from it all happening. It was sort of like watching a movie. That was even weirder than how Jake had explained it once. But I made a mistake.

I somehow let in an image of me in the shower when I was talking about Charlie's suspicions. Everyone seemed to be shocked and I was so mortified that I couldn't even attempt to hear what they were thinking about it. Instead I accidentally started slipping with my bubble thing and their grumbled voices started getting quieter and quieter.

From what I could tell of their thoughts, most of them were having very inappropriate ones, Jake was trying very hard not to, but even he slipped.

Shut up! I heard Sam yell, and they did.

Once it was quiet I was able to refocus and hear clearly.

It will take you some time to learn how to control certain thoughts and the images you show. Don't worry about it, they all slip every now and then and it's all much worse than a normal shower, he told me

I started to feel a little better and actually started to notice that some of them were starting to slip as he said that. I almost laughed, but thought better of it and Jake laughed.

We finally got back to talking about the important stuff. They all started talking about patrolling and other normal things for them. Some thoughts I noticed started focusing on me and I got confused again. I was trying to keep quiet, but that's a lot harder than it seems. You can't always stop thoughts.

Sam interrupted himself, listening to all the confusion.

Ok, well I think that she should wait before doing patrolling, unless she wants to start early. But none of you started this soon and I think she should wait until she gets everything down and figured out first.

I can start doing whatever you want me to do; it's only fair and I will be over at my house most of the time anyways, I told them

Leah made a noise that I couldn't define and everyone's thoughts turned to her.

Sure, Bella comes along and turns into a werewolf and she is loved instantly. Miss perfect, of course. While I'm still trying to be accepted by you all. Her tone was angry and sour, but she seemed more offended.

Leah, the only thing that makes it hard is having to put up with your thoughts constantly; they make it unbearable sometimes. Couldn't really tell who had said that.

Mostly everyone started to laugh, except for Sam and me. That caused Leah to get even madder.

That's enough. Shut it guys, Sam interrupted.

When Bella goes home, I want someone to watch around the house, just in case. I have a feeling it might be needed soon. It's not because she is new, but because she is further away and the danger that is coming, maybe be coming for her. He said.

Of course it would it would be after her. It's always after her since she was with those damn leeches and just like always it's our jobs to protect her. Leah added.

Leah was working on my last nerve. I tried to say something and got interrupted.

I already went last night, so I will keep doing it, Jake told them.

I knew it. I thought and Jake's wolfy face smiled at me. I laughed and the sound startled me again, it sounded like a damn choking sound. Now Jake laughed.

I'll go too, if you need me Jake. I don't mind, Seth volunteered.

All right. That should do for now. We just need someone to switch off every other night to watch her. She doesn't need guards.

And that was that. I had watchers now and it felt like being babysat all over again. I felt a little comforted, but a little annoyed too. I was finally strong enough to handle myself and yet I still needed babysitters.

It's not like that Bella. Just rather be safe than sorry.

I didn't argue, there was no need to. Sam was right, so I agreed.

I thought I heard Leah mumble something, but I ignored her. I'd had enough from her to last a lifetime. Luckily, no one seemed to hear me think that and if they did, they were really good at not thinking about it.

Once I had finally thought we were done, Jake got another thought that I instantly was against.

Jake I can't leave my home! Where would I go? I kind of shouted at him.

It was just a thought Bells. This is going to be really hard for you; you're pretty far away from us. How are you going to know when and if we need you? You could come stay with me.

Jake, no. Moving closer would be easier for the pack stuff, yes, but what about everything else? How would I explain to Charlie that I'm moving in with you? He already suspects something is going on. That wouldn't help anything at all, I snapped, though I didn't mean too.

That's another thing why, he doesn't know. Just how long you think you can keep it from him? He was only curious.

I don't know. How did everyone else keep it from their parents, the parents who knew nothing about the Legends? I will find a way. I have to. Just packing up and moving won't help anything.

Everyone was quiet during all that. Some agreeing with Jake, but most agreeing with me.

She's right Jake. It really wouldn't help. Someday maybe we can work something like that out, but for right now, things stay the way they are, Sam said and that was the last word about it.


***


After the meeting was over and most of the pack had left, I tried to think of something else we could do. I was actually enjoying the form I was in now and I wanted to see what else I could do.

Hey Jake, can we go for a run? I asked, it sounded like a fun idea.

Sure, he said, surprised.

Well, I remember you telling me it was one of the best things about being werewolf, so I want to see how great it is.

He laughed that wolfy laugh and in that second he opened up a little and I got a glimpse of exactly how he felt about me. Everything from the first time we had really met. It was so much to be packed into a few seconds, so many images and feelings. It really said a lot.

I realized for the first time just how much he had always loved me. Just how much I had been so blind, too consumed in my own personal problems and delusions to see. I could see how much it hurt him to see me that way over some guy who left me and how bad I had really looked. I could also see how much I had really hurt him by taking off to save the life of that same guy, risking my life at the same time.

I could also see the truth in how he really felt about this new change and that no matter what had changed in me, he was grateful that he finally had me. That I finally loved him back the same way he had always loved me and now our love was so intense from the imprinting. It was amazing.

For a moment I got a glimpse of him being proud of me. Proud of how accepting I had been from the beginning and even now, now that I had become one of them. Also, that I apparently never failed to surprise him. And that even though he never thought anything like this could ever happen, he was excited a little, because now he really could share his life with me.

If I knew how to cry in this form, I'm sure I would have.

At that moment Jacob realized that I knew everything and realized that in one moment of thinking about it, I saw everything. I laughed a little.

I guess I'm going to have to keep reminding myself you can read my mind now. He laughed a little too now.

What was left of the pack started making noises of disgust.

That's what we had to put up with everyday. And that was even before he imprinted! Embry said.

I laughed even harder and started walking away from where I had been sitting and Jacob followed. We both took off running at the same time, but I just followed him, I had no idea where to go, or where was safe.

The run was amazing. I felt the energy flowing through me as I pushed my paws, saying that was going to take some getting used to, to the ground harder with every push to gain speed. We kept the going, running up and down the coast line, going as far as we could without worrying about getting to far or being seen. I couldn't believe I could keep up with him. We saved just enough energy to get us back to his house. It really was the best thing I had ever felt.