Almost Impossible Chapter 9

Chapter 9

After I had finally left Jacob's house, once again taking longer than it should have, I was going over everything in my head while I drove. I was definitely looking forward to that nap and some Tylenol, but as I drove a little further I realized that wasn't going to happen any time soon- just my luck.

As I was turning around a corner, just leaving La Push, something shining up ahead caught my eye. I was too far away to tell what it was, but I knew and there was no doubting it. Edward. The day was just about to get even longer.


Sure enough, the closer I got, the more clearly I could see it was his silver Volvo parked on the side of the road. My heart beat sped up and I knew I was on the verge of that panic attack.

How was I going to do this and now? How can I explain everything to him when I don't even really know? I just wanted to slam my foot on the gas and turn around, back to Jake's, as fast as I could, but I knew this damn truck wouldn't get me very far and I knew he already saw me.

Before I had even finished thinking, I was getting closer and slowly to a stop. I pulled over on the side of the road, but didn't get out. I should have just driven past him, but that was rude and I had done enough to him already. Plus, if he really wanted to talk, he could probably beat me home.

It seemed like about five minutes passed before I saw his door open. I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest; I did not want to do this. Not right then.

Once I saw him get out slowly, I pried my hands off the steering wheel, which was actually now a little mangled looking, and started to get out. I left the door open- just in case- and walked to the front of my truck. I knew Edward wouldn't hurt me- well at least I hoped he wouldn't- but after everything, I didn't know what to expect. The dream didn't help.

"Bella," Edward said, walking up to me. Slowly and graceful as always. He didn't look mad, but he was good at hiding his emotions. Another thing that bugged me about him.

"Edward." I said nervously. This was not starting out well.

We just stood there staring at each other, but after a minute I looked away towards the trees. I have never wanted to avoid something so badly in my life. I would give anything to have stuck to my original plans and my body really needed that nap.

"You don't want to talk to me?" he asked suddenly.

"Don't know how," I told him, still looking away.

"And why is that?"

"Complicated," I mumbled, trying not to cry. This was way harder than I had thought.

"How so?"

"I-It just is." Trying to hold back the tears was causing me to stutter. Way, Way harder. I thought.

"Care to explain more?"

He was being so calm; I think that was what caused me to lose it. The tears started pouring and I was fighting the urge to collapse on the ground, my weak knees didn't want to hold me up anymore.

"Bella?" he asked softly, taking a step closer to me and I took a step back. I really hope he doesn't lunge at me. I thought, looking up at his face and he was still calm.

"Oh Edward, I'm sorry. So, so sorry," I blurted out like an idiot, but knew nothing else to say.

"Why? For what?" he asked.

Why? Why did he always have to be so calm when he really should be ready to start screaming at me. I was prepared for that, but not for this. I don't know why, but it always surprises me when he, once again, accepts me when I do something wrong.

When I didn't talk, he continued.

"For leaving me and not coming back?" he asked and I jerked my head back up to look at him. I regretted it. Not only was he calm, but he was... understanding?

"Uh, something along that yeah," I said.

"Bella, I think I know why," he said, surprising me, again.

"W-What?"

"Imprint."

I was completely shocked. "You know? " I asked.

"Well yes. I heard it in his thoughts when I walked passed him, coming back to you," he said, moving slightly to lean next to me against my truck. I didn't want him to be next to him, but least I didn't have to look at him.

I was a little relieved he didn't know about my part in the imprint. But very little. I was sort of hoping I wouldn't have to tell him. "Oh." Was all I got out.

"Yes. And I know about Alice's vision as well." Of course he did.

"Yeah."

"You should have told me. I don't like it and I don't understand why it didn't happen before, but..." he didn't finish.

A million different thoughts flashed through my head. The weight of it all was incredibly heavy and my legs wouldn't hold me up anymore, so I slowly slid down to the ground.

"There's more," I told him and I could feel his eyes on me.

"Oh?"

"Yep. A lot more."

"Tell me," he said, almost a whisper.

"I don't know if I can."

He slid down next to me on the ground, only he was more in front of me, so I had to look at him.

"Edward, I can't."

"Please try. Don't I have a right to know? A right to know why else I can no longer be with my fiancé?"

And that crushed me. The tears that were falling slowly came gushing out with deep rough sobs. I brought my hands up to cover my face and he moved them. His skin was a lot colder than before and that made things too real again. I wasn't the only one who noticed there was a difference because he dropped his hand from mine and just looked at me, confused.

"So much has changed. I've changed. Almost impossibly, but I have," I mumbled, trying hard to too look away from his gaze.

Instead of talking, he just sat up straight and stiff, not moving, not doing anything.

"What happened?" he asked, all calm gone and replaced by complete coldness. He was taking this seriously now.

"Something...." I didn't know how to put it into words. I could hardly remember everything I had heard today. "Something the legends left out. Something about the pack leader and something about a girl..." I couldn't finish.

"What happens?"

"The human girl somehow imprints on the wolf as the wolf imprints on the girl, all causing her to become one of them," I blurted out, but added more. "They all thought it wasn't real, nothing to keep passed along. The last time it had happened was so long ago, no one alive now believed it, or knew of any trace of it being real. They don't-" he cut me off before I could ramble anymore.

"You imprinted?"

"Yes." The shock was now in his face and he actually looked like he wanted to laugh.

So there it was, the expression I was waiting for all day. Instead of taking me seriously he thought I was joking and was crazy. Don't have to be a mind reader to figure that one out. And he actually did laugh.

"You're joking?" he asked, still laughing.

"Do I look like it?" I told him and he stopped laughing, shock returning.

"W-" he started to say.

"No clue. None of us know. We just know it's happening." I said, cutting him off.

He just sat in silence for a few minutes and I gave him time to think it through. Mainly because I was all out of things to say, though I knew I should say something else.

"It doesn't make sense," he said suddenly.

"Yeah, I know. But it's real," I told him, trying to convince the both of us.

"But how? I mean you told me about the legend part, I get that. But really, how? How does it affect you? How do you not go through it the way they did, or is that coming? I've seen it in their heads, they all still think of it from time to time, the process you go through to develop, or whatever they call it."

He had a point. I never really thought of that. I remembered back when Jake had first changed, he sounded like he was horribly sick for days, even tried to pass it off as mono, I wasn't even allowed to see him, because of it. How come I wasn't sick or achy? Why don't I feel the way he described it to me? At least that would make it more real.

"I don't know."

He stared at me for a moment then looked away, shaking his head. What else was I supposed to say? What else is there for me to do? I just waited for him to talk.

"You're sure about this?" he asked.

"Oh yes."

"How sure?"

"Well let's see... I've almost phased twice, I've almost broken things that I could barely make budge before, I ran too fast, I hear things that are too far away, I'm standing here with no jacket and I'm not cold, and well... I don't know. I'm not making this up and I didn't choose this." I was getting mad now. He still didn't believe me. Why in the hell would I make something like this up? I needed to stop this; it wasn't the right time to make me mad.

He still wasn't looking at me and I got tired of trying to make him believe. I got up and tried to walk back to my truck. I got halfway there and he was suddenly standing in front of me, staring at me.

"So this, us, it's over," he said. It wasn't a question.

I looked down and the tears to trying to sneak up again. It just wasn't getting any easier. "Yes."

"There's no hope-"

"Edward, as I said. I didn't choose this and it's not something I can walk away from, not even if I wanted too. I'm truly sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am." Once again I couldn't stop the tears.

He stepped towards me and tried to put his arm around me. I put one hand up and backed away a little.

"Don't. Just... don't," I said, sniffling.

"Can't even if it's meant as a friend?"

He really was making this so much harder. I think it would have been easier if he was mad. Being so calm, so understanding it was almost torture. Here I was, telling him I couldn't be with him anymore after everything and he wanted to give me a hug. Nope, nothing makes sense anymore.

"I think it would be better if you didn't. This is just hard Edward and I wish you would just be mad at me, that's more reasonable, but you're so... I don't know the word for it, but it's making it harder. Actually that's ok, it should be worse for me. One morning I'm perfectly happy with you, couldn't wait for a future with you and bam, I get kissed by someone else and I imprint and I'm happy about it! I shouldn't have even been able to do that! And I don't even know how I did it! Everything is just one big mess of questions and I don't know how I can be so happy and so sad at the same time. It makes me so damn mad I could scream!" I was yelling and it started again.

One moment I was there pacing back and forth at the side of my truck yelling about everything and the next moment I felt so much anger and rage that I could almost taste it, everything turned into a blur. The fire started again, from my bones working its way out, spreading everywhere burning and itching. It was so much worse than before, more painful than I would have ever imagined. I realized the vibrations caused the blur. I couldn't see Edward anymore, all I could see was red. I tried fighting it, but as soon as I almost did I thought about what Sam had said and somehow that took more control over my own thoughts. It was too late. The anger had built up so much that I was about to explode and I think I actually did.